Bumfire Night Cockshell

Yep. That's it. I'm done.

I mean Ross mate. WHAT. THE FUCK!?

Bumfire night? Like who needs this? Also... what company director uses their own naked image to put onto a fucking clamshell to sell to actual real life people? This is the type of shit people picture in their head and then suppress to avoid therapy.

But oh, not you Ross, NO! Fuck that! Let's not only put it on the internet to show everyone how fucked up you are but let's also charge £4.49 for it too.

I'm genuinely don't know who has deeper issues. Me, or the people who buy this.

Actual Scent: Cracklin' Campfire. The smokey warmness of a fire. Does not smell like arse.

Cockshell Details

Our Cockshells are basically 6 cube clamshells with little dicks on the cubes. Much like our Teddy Clamshells that have a Teddy on the cube, these just have cocks. Because people love cocks. Well, some do at least.

Size: Is that what everyone wants to know when it comes to a Cock(shell)? How big is it? Does it matter, though? It's not about the size, right? But our Cockshells are actually BIGGER than our Teddy Clamshells and weigh around 70-75g! It's big enough to get the job done.

Wax: Our wax is 100% soy wax mixed with mica powder to colour it and give it that shimmer! Sometimes glitter is used too and that's bio-degradable.

Our products, to the best of our knowledge, are all vegan and cruelty-free. If you have any specific concerns then please get in touch.

We are CLP compliant and fully insured. The CLP can be found in the product images before you even purchase.

Fully recyclable PET plastic clamshell with Resin identification code for practical, household recycling. Just like recycling a bottle of pop!